"incoming...hehehe" the sound of sms coming in by worm sms alert
"baby, r u back in kl??? i nk beraya rumah u.."
"yup..rumah i xda kueh raya, x perlu beraya la"
"i dont wanna eat kueh raya..all i want is u ;) "
a couple of minutes later, he calls her...saying that he is downstairs of her flat..
she asks him to sneak in quietly...afraid that the neighbors would notice...
as soon as he walked in...she closed n locked the door...he grabbed her n kissed her lips
they did it..SEX...she knows that he is only using her for lust..but somehow she doesn't know how to say "NO".. she realized that it was all about LUST n not LOVE..but somehow she doesn't know how to stop..its not only wif him...but a couple of man more..the story goes the same...
after he's done..he take out his cigarrete n light it..asking her if she is fine...
she answer without interest...that she's ok...after he's done with the smoke..
he said "baby...i balik dulu ye..i ada kerja nk settle..i'll call u"
she smile..a fake one..cuz in her mind she said
"yeah..u'll call me when u r horny again, kan?"
huh..u should let it out babe..it shouldnt be on ur mind...
he kissed her forehead n gone..another sms comes in from a different person...
asking her the same thing...
wanting the same thing...she realise that they all the same...she keep on telling em that she is aint a cheap bitch..but she often fail to prove that to em...y babe?? y???
yes..i know that ur lonely...
yes..i know that u think ur not pretty enuff for em..
yes..i know that u think no man in this world would sincerely love u..
yes..i know that u think this is enuff..being wanted for a while is enuff..
U URSELF THINK UR NOT PRETTY N DONT DESERVE TO BE LOVE...HOW CAN OTHERS THINK THE OPPOSITE??
u said that if this is the way for u to grab their attention then it should be ok..
now tell me babe...whats wif the tears everynite??? whats wif the loneliness that u'v been feeling?? its so NOT WORTH IT TO HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESNT LOVE U..
come on babe...try to love ur self..then i'm sure one day someone will love u too...
u dont hv to rush..ur 23..go out hv fun with ur friends...change urself instead of trying to change others..
"r u addicted to sex??"
"no...i just love to be pamper...i just love when a man wrapped his arm around me..saying he love me...i just love it when they kissed me..n watch me sleep"
"yea right!!...n then when u wake up in the morning he is not by ur side anymore..r u happy??? huh!"
"pufff....BULLSHITS!! sometime u sort of like paying em for sex...they asked to borrow ur money n u gave it..even tho u dont hv enuff for ur self..y! doesnt what happen in the past teach u anything?? it doesnt mean anything to u isnt it??"
"...i dont know!!! can u stop mumbling..can u shut up..its my life..let it be!"
"sex with 48 man in 2 and half years..isnt that too much?? arent u afraid of the sins?? arent u afraid of ALLAH? arent u afraid of diseases from sex?? remember how the rapist took away ur virginity?? i think u deserve it..cuz u urself dont know how to love urself...u just know how to advice others.."
"but u dont know how to motivate urself..u dont know how to stop doing this...U DONT DESERVE TO BE LOVE...ur a SLUT ..a CHEAP WHORE..CHANGE IF UR NOT..PROVE I'M WRONG...or man will always look at u as the 'EASY' type..."
tears running down my eyes as i wrote this...i dont know how to help 'her'...can anyone???